Realizations
by luvme123
Summary: Haru is bored with his routine. Makoharu, ooc!haru, don't mind that.


I've come to the realization that my life is rather..._mundane_ for a teenager that lives alone. In fact, most would probably think I live with strict parents if they've just met me. Because when someone young says they live alone, most people's minds immediately wander towards drunken house parties, and going out late without having to sneak out a window. Heading home after a long night of partying at five in the morning.

Most people I meet are surprised I even attend school.

I do, though; and I don't party, or get drunk, or high, and I go to bed at a reasonable time. I do my homework. It's all stuff normal teens with normal, present, parents do; I'd know, my best friends are those kind of kids. Following a routine of eat, sleep, go to school, ect., ect..

It's boring.

So of course, when I come to this realization, my eyes find Makoto. He himself was just as guilty of following a pattern, even if it wasn't the same as everyone else's. Get up. Eat. Get Haru. Go to school, drop Haru off, go home. Repeat. Mine was something along the lines of that, though, replacing the parts about me with something about Makoto. How regular. How normal. How _safe_. It makes me sick.

I need a change, but then again, how? Makoto. I'll start by breaking his routine, therefore breaking mine.

/

It's almost exactly seven o'clock when I knock lightly on Makoto's front door. A lighy "come in," breaks through the door and I step in. Mrs. Tachibana was just sliding her shoes on as I slid mine off.

"Oh, Haru, you're here early! How nice to see you before I leave for work," She smiles at me, and I smile brightly back. Her next words are weary, as if she were surprised that I'd smiled at her. Good. "Is it still raining?"

"Yes ma'am." I say, holding out the umbrella that was hanging from the coat rack. Mine was dripping lightly onto the welcome mat.

"Thank you, Haru. Makoto is in his room, getting ready. You should eat something while you're here,"

"I already have." I smile again. "I had oatmeal before I left."

Another weary reply. "Oh...Ok, just making sure! Makoto says you usually don't get time to eat a proper breakfast in the mornings, so..." She giggles nervously. "I'd better go, before I'm late for work."

"Ok," I say, "It was nice to catch you before you left."

"Y-yes, very," She coughs as she opens the door. "Very nice."

I walk down the hall, leaving my school supplies by the door, and stop at Makoto's door as his mother leaves. "Makoto, are you in here?"

"Ah! Haru," The door flies open to reveal Makoto, his shirt only half buttoned, tie hanging loosely over his shoulders, and I have to remind myself that despite my wanting to break routine, we still had a schedule. Because if we didn't, I'd surely ravish him right here and there. He had his cute little surprised half-open mouth, and I wanted to surprise him more by ripping the shirt and his hastily-buttoned jeans off of him and-

Never mind.

"You're here. Usually, I'd pick you up..."

"You're house is closer to school and I need to ask Ms. Amakata a question about our homework." It was a believable lie; I _did_ have an issue with the homework, but he could have easily helped with it if I asked.

"Oh, ok," He smiles at me. He doesn't look a bit suspicious of me, which I'm glad for. "Let me just finish getting dressed. There's fruit and stuff in the kitchen, if you're hungry-"

"I already ate." I say, and Makoto looks at me unbelievably, eyebrows raised as he buttons his shirt. It's almost as if he's _trying_ to be seductive. _Is this what I miss out on when I'm at home?_ Because I'd like to see this more.

"Haru, mackerel isn't a healthy breakfast." All I do is sigh and grab a fruit from the bowl. Old habits die hard, I guess.

/

After my little slip up I went straight back into routine mode. I'm despicable.

"Haru, come on," Makoto was at the door - I could hear him from the open window of the bathroom - and I almost forget it's a Saturday and he didn't_ have_ to be here. Then I remember we were supposed to go out with the team. Ha, he knows I'm not getting out without being forced. I can hear his disappointed sigh as the door clicks open and I realize I forgot to lock it.

Whoops.

"Seriously, Haru, I promised Rei and Nagisa I'd go to see that circus act or whatever, and you promised you'd go with." Makoto yells, entering. I can hear knocking at my bedroom door before I pull my head in the water. Knowing Makoto, he'd be knocking on the bathroom door in 3...2...1...

"Sorry for barging in," It was his usual apology, "But we're going to be late, Haru-chan."

A rushed hand is there and ready to pull me up when I sit back up. I look at it, disinterested, and pull myself up. I don't comment on the -chan.

"We still have fifteen minutes to get to the station. I can change and get out in five," It was a long shot, really; I still haven't eaten, and needed to find a dry suit to put on under my clothes.

"Haru..." It's like he reads my mind some times.

"Can't we just call and say we can't make it then?" The words surprise even me, but I play along, "I mean, if we're going to be late, why keep them waiting?"

"But...I-I promised..." Makoto's stutter pushes me on, and I try not to grin as I grab some clothes and strip right in front of him.

"Why not just this once? We hardly have time to ourselves these days..." I fake a huff as I pull on my dry clothes.

"I-" _Know I've got you? Yeah._ "...Alright. I'll tell them you aren't feeling good and I'm staying to keep you company."

Makoto's actually a good liar, for such a trustworthy face. This time I do grin, and head for the kitchen.

"I've got frozen pizza, do you want some?"

"At ten in the morning? Haru, that's not very healthy..."

"...Do you want any?"

"...Yes please." Makoto says, and then a second later into the phone- _"Ah, Rei! Hello,"_ and I grin more as I put in the frozen pizzas. I finally have him to myself for a while. When I put on the tea, I hear Makoto walk in the room and turn around. He's right in front of me, and I can't hold back my gulp.

"Tea and pizza?" He makes a face I know he always does when he's grossed out and trying to hide it. If I know him as much as I think I do, he'll make a positive comment about it right about... "Then again, you always made the best tea, Haru-chan."

_...Now._

I don't even grimace.

"So what do you want to do?" We were in the living room now, huddled under blankets and eating our pizza- I realize with distaste as I take the first bite it's some kind he likes, with vegetables and the works on. I eat it anyway, because I still hadn't eaten and was starting to feel it.

"Just sit around," I say, knowing he already knew the answer. He usually did. Just asks as a courtesy. "Maybe watch that new detective show? I have it on my dvr."

"Sure."

The tv clicks on, and we fall into routine again. It takes me all I have in me not to subconsciously lay my head on his chest as we both lean back to get comfortable. I still have to break routine. I know it's a stupid plan, a selfish one - because I know I'm making Makoto uncomfortable, not like he'd ever say it- but I continue on with it. Things need shaken up every now and then.

It's a slow three hours. We watch tv until the clock hits one, and I haven't touched Makoto at all. I'm feeling restless, but I need to get a reaction out of him. I'm too far in to stop now. The tv clicks off and I turn my head towards Makoto.

He's smiling his usual smile, his eyes closing as he rubs awkwardly at his neck and I almost jump him right then. That would surely get a reaction from him. "I know this is going to sound weird, but..." He trails off, and I can see it in his eyes he's looking for the right words to say, so I keep quiet. "Um...Are you ok?...Is there something you want to talk about, or anything?...I-I mean, you don't have to! I-I'm just...just...

"You haven't touched me all day." My jaw nearly drops. "I-I know it sounds strange, but...you didn't take my hand when I offered to help you out of the tub this morning, and you didn't lean on me at all when we were watching tv.. Y-you wanted to spend the day together, but you haven't done so much as nudge my shoulder..."

"Makoto..." I sound breathless, which is strange, because I've always been the calmer one in situations like this. I blame the nervous look on Makoto's face as he glares down at his hands in his lap. He's fidgeting, moving his weight from one leg he's sitting on to the other every two seconds.

"Sorry. I guess you don't pay much attention to that kind of thing...it's probably nothing. We can go back to watching-"

"Makoto." I say again, my voice louder and more stern. His head shoots up and towards me. His eyes fill with something - I can't tell what, but I'm sure it's fear; a true, very nervous, very terrified fear - and I just can't take it.

I actually jump him. Like, literally throw myself on top of him.

He's surprised, to say the least when I tackle him to the ground; whether because I hadn't done so much as touch him all day, or because it was so out of character of me, I can't tell. I push him to the carpet of the living room floor and press a rough kiss to his lips. The surprised squeal from under me is all it takes to push me on.

"Sorry-" I press a kiss to his lips again to abbreviate my words. "About-" kiss, "That-" Kiss. "I can explain." Kiss kiss kiss.

"Then you probably should," Makoto turns his face away from mine so I couldn't kiss the words out of his mouth but I just kiss his neck, lightly, and watch as the skin flushes.

I stop, but stay perched on top of him. "I was bored."

"Huh?" I nearly fall as Makoto props himself up on his elbows, but he uses one arm to pull me back up.

"I was bored. Our lives are so _routined_, so _automated_, I _had_ to do something to switch things up or I would have gone crazy."

His eyes shine and I'm scared I upset him until I'm on the ground and he's on top of me instead. "I'm glad you got bored. Just don't worry me like that again, Haru."

I flush. "Of course. Back to routine."

A kiss lands on my forehead, and a mop of brown on my chest. "Maybe we could make a new routine together?.."

Ok, so maybe it's not _that_ mundane.


End file.
